Reflections

Touching People

• By fannieb
• May 23, 2015
• No Comments

“If I could do anything between now and the end of the year, what would it be?”

As I walked the treadmill this morning, I pondered this question that was posed in the book The Five Dysfunctions of a Team. First I thought of my answer in terms of my writing goals, but that seemed too specific, too targeted. While I do want to become recognized for my writing, I think my focus needs to be at a higher level, something more far reaching and universal.

So I began to think of what I’ve done and have enjoyed doing over the last several months; and, while writing has given me a lot of pleasure, there is something else that I’m learning to cherish: interacting with people, especially strangers. I have a deep desire to get to know them. All this might seem counter to my Myers Briggs classification as an introvert, but I have grown and now thoroughly enjoy meeting people. I no longer dread it. And I now see myself as I saw my father when he met his estate attorney, Brian, for the first time only twelve days before he died.

My father asked him about his last name and his mother, trying to make a connection to the Mary Carlin that my mother taught with at Benson School. But my father did more than simply question Brian, he built a rapport recounting the story of what a mean teacher Mary Carlin had been and how my mother, who was just starting her teaching career then, had been afraid of her. Brian and my father both chuckled at the story as Brian reassured Daddy that although his mother’s name had been Mary, she had never been a teacher. This got the inauspicious meeting to document my father’s last wishes off to a lighthearted start, for them. But I was little amused by the story, annoyed that Daddy had put off creating a will until the very last minute, as if not having one would shield him from his destiny. I was distressed by the gravity of the situation and was feeling uneasy waiting for my father’s life, his last days, to play out, while I could do nothing to change them.

As I look back on that encounter, almost five years since, I am amused by it, now, and realize that this is the stuff that life is made up of. I don’t know if Brian remembers this meeting, but it is something that in hindsight has shaped me. And as I attempt to answer the original question, I think that my goal should be to engage with people in a way that makes them feel special, important, and loved. It is in these times when I’m connecting, hearing their experiences, and learning of their joys and their pains that I feel I’m making a difference. For me that is what life is about. I have to make a living and I hope to do so via writing, but my goal is connection – pure and simple. I must continue connecting here and now with people, face-to-face. This will help me to succeed anywhere, doing anything. It’s the foundation for all other things.

Photo Credit: Agustin Ruiz