Reflections

This Week’s Test

• By Abel
• October 11, 2014
• No Comments

As life gives me experiences and as I apply concerted effort to evolve, I have begun to see most things in my life as tests: exercises to help bring me to new understandings carrying me (sometimes kicking and screaming) further along my path to peace.

While my current work situation can be exasperating and exhausting at times, I’m at a point in my life and career where I feel the need to settle down. In viewing my resume people might be inclined to label me a job hopper, and, perhaps this is an accurate assessment. From the many jobs that I’ve held I’ve come to the realization that no role and no company are perfect. There will always be trade-offs. Because of my newfound understanding and a weariness for job seeking, I’ve decided to stay put and bide my time for now.

So when a former colleague of mine approached me about an opening at a consulting company and was rather insistent I meet with the hiring manager to check things out, I told him immediately that I wasn’t interested. He insisted I should, “just talk to the guy, it couldn’t hurt anything”, touting all his reasons. “The company’s growing; it’s your field; they have a great mission; the people there are smart; the culture is good; it’s easier to find a job when you have a job”. For each reason I returned an equally good reason for not wanting to “just talk to the guy”. He insisted that he didn’t have a dog in the fight, but wanted to make me aware of this opportunity. Since I had mentioned that my current work situation was less-than-perfect, he thought he owed it to me to share the information and make an introduction.

And I found myself considering it, even though I wasn’t looking for a job. Just as I had considered and finally agreed to meet with (against my better judgment) Cora, a representative from this same firm “just to network” only three weeks earlier. That meeting was uneventful and left me with doubts about how happy she was at this organization she was there to tell me all about. I was thoroughly underwhelmed.

My gut was telling me, ‘No! You haven’t given yourself enough time at this new job. No. In the past when you’ve jumped quickly from one situation to the next (because things seemed unsuitable), that next thing often didn’t turn out to be right either. No. Things change so quickly that my issues with my current job might resolve themselves on their own and if not, I’m only two months away from being permitted to post internally. No. Why is he pushing so hard for me to do this? What’s his agenda? No. No. No!’

As I continued to express my objections it became clear that he would not take “no” for an answer.   So I told him that I needed to sleep on it. Doubt was setting in. Perhaps I wasn’t taking all things into account. The light of a new day might present these things to me.

As I slept on it I had a bizarre dream. I was out shopping and a sudden snowstorm hit. I decided to go home before I got stranded. When I went to cross the highway to get my car (logical for dream) other cars were barreling down the road, hitting objects, spinning out, coming to a standstill, and then starting up on down the road again, like in a demolition derby. When I got to the median I saw on the southbound side of the road a sand truck backing up at full speed. Just as it was about to hit a car and some people standing on the shoulder I clenched my eyes shut in order not to see the wreckage.

The next morning, I knew exactly what to do. Tell him once and for all, no. I had made my decision the day before, but this dream came to me just in case I had any doubt. It was telling me not to jump out of the frying pan and into the fire.

The lesson I was tested to learn this week was to trust my gut instinct. But this was not the only thing I learned. There was a second lesson buried within the first: Don’t complain. Someone might actually be listening and insist on fixing your problem.

Photo Credit: Horla Varlan