Reflections

Tears

• By fannieb
• July 30, 2016
• No Comments

I remember when nothing could move me to tears. I was the tough as nails daughter of two very strong black parents, who taught me I had to be strong too or else I might get taken advantage of. Before 1999 I’d never cried at a movie, even at really sad ones. I just hardened myself to the events or told myself it’s only a movie. I was stoic and hard-hearted, because that was what I was taught to be. Being strong and unemotional would get me ahead in a world that was against me and my kind.

My tough outer shell began to crumble, however. I was watching the movie Rudy based on the true story of Rudy Ruettiger. Rudy was a young man who dreamed of playing on the Notre Dame football team, but he had huge obstacles to making that dream a reality. At the climax of the movie, as the whole team cheered to put Rudy in to play during the final minutes of the last game of his senior year, a tear popped from one of my eyes. I was shocked and thought How did that tear escape?

This was the beginning of a loosening of my heart. Now, tears flow much more easily. In fact, today I was watching Chicken Soup for the Soul on TV and it happened again. In the last segment of the show, three children of about 7 or 8 were each given a dollar by their fathers and were faced with the choice of buying ice cream or donating it to a man with a cup and an sign that read “I need money”. The first two little boys did not hesitate. The final child, a little girl, took longer to decide than either of the boys had. She stood and looked at the man and then at the ice cream truck and then walked over to the ice cream truck. She bought an ice cream, but instead of taking a lick of it and walking back to her father, she walked over to the man with the money sign and gave the ice cream cone to him. She then ran into to arms of her awaiting father, who scooped her up and gave her a big hug. Yeah, I cried.

Unlike the tear I shed in 1999 while watching Rudy, I was proud of this tear. I now view showing my emotions with tears as me being more completely human, instead of a sign of my weakness. I’ve come to realize that tears are natural and cleansing. I’m not crying on a daily or even weekly basis, but I accept that tears are normal, a simple release of energy. “Salt water cures everything. Sweat, Tears, and the Ocean.”

Photo Credit: LMAP