Reflections

Reputation

• By fannieb
• February 11, 2015
• No Comments

Embarrassed. That is how I feel to be associated with the company I work for. I feel guilty by association for the unbuttoned up way business gets done there and the resulting penalties from our customer and the media.

But this is my lot currently and I have to find a way to make peace with where I am right now. In some ways I have, well not complete peace, but acceptance. I try not to resist the onslaught of muddled thinking I’m exposed to that seems different from mine by putting my head down and doing an exceptional job even though doing an okay one would suffice. I guess I’m trying to keep my integrity to my self in an attempt to deflect some of the embarrassment I feel at being part of an organization which believes being put on corrective action plans is normal.  So normal that many of my coworkers have become numb to exactly what this says about us.

Yes, I said it, us. I am part of that organization too which is why I’m bothered and embarrassed. When people see me do they see me or do they lump me in with the organization as a whole and see in me a low performer, someone who doesn’t think before she acts? That’s what it comes down to – how do people see me? And, if I’m doing my best, should it even matter?

Photo Credit:  Nasrul Ekram