Reflections

Planted

• By fannieb
• August 26, 2015
• No Comments

Why do I want to move 4,000 miles away from the only country I’ve known as home? I’ve told quite a few people my dream to move to France and only one or two have asked me why. When the clerk at the Verizon store asked me I responded casually, “I need a change of scenery.” He followed up quickly with, “Okay, but why not move to Washington state?”

The answer came to me as a crushing emotion. The thought of moving to another state, any other state, not just Washington state, made me cringe and want to curl up into a ball under the covers of my bed. I’d lived in several other states and the scenery was different in a couple of them, but new and different surroundings are only one thing I feel I need. Another is a change of culture and perhaps the challenges that becoming fluent in a foreign language and building relationships with people who have a different mindset will bring. The thought of that is exciting and freeing.

My 48 years in the United States have been great. They have provided me with a terrific education, outstanding opportunities, and some very good friendships. But now I also feel stuck, pigeonholed, by my identity here as a black woman who happens to work as a project manager in corporate America. And this feels very stifling.

As I’ve grown, especially over the last two years since my mother’s death, I feel ready to explore, spread my wings so to speak, and continue on my amazing journey with a lightness in my heart. And, the thought of moving to another state just doesn’t do it for me. It doesn’t create an ethereal feeling or a sense of excitement that I know will help me to evolve even further.

Years ago I heard the saying “Bloom where you are planted.” And this is something I reminded myself of and took to heart for quite a while. At times it helped me accept and grow in spite of circumstances I felt were not optimal. But I’ve realized now that there is a second part to this saying which my soul started whispering to me, but has now resorted to warning me in a louder, more urgent tone “Bloom where your are planted…until the soil no longer has what your need to survive and thrive, until you’ve found that you’ve outgrown your current pot!”

Photo Credit: Chuck b.