Reflections

Janus: 2014 into 2015

• By fannieb
• January 6, 2015
• No Comments

In 2014 I really stepped out of my comfort zones. This opened up my view to the possibilities life has in store for me. It sent me down paths I would never have anticipated. I decided, despite some hesitation, to attend my 25^th college class reunion in Massachusetts and to go on a vacation, alone. For me, a dyed-in-the-wool homebody, these trips were revolutionary and transformative. The trip to Massachusetts was a test run to see if I could manage air travel again. I hadn’t flown since 2004. My vacation to Québec City was an experiment to see if I could travel alone to a destination where no one I knew would be to greet me.

In preparation for my trip to Québec City I decided to relearn French. I’d taken years of it in high school and in college but I never was able to use it practically (other than for course credits). Within six weeks I put my French speaking skills to the test and I passed remarkably well fooling some locals with my pronunciation only to disappoint them immediately following my Bonjour with my hesitation in searching for the right French phrase to fit my English thought. But I had a great time, nonetheless, and they thoroughly appreciated my efforts. I was so encouraged by them I’ve taken all five levels of French since, and now, I’m planning a trip to France, believe it or not!

Another circle of security I ventured out of was that of not challenging myself as a writer – having the desire to write, but not putting pen to paper or reworking journal entries that had potential. What seemed to really work for me was taking two six-week long creative writing classes back to back in the spring. They gave me the discipline to write pieces each week that were more refined than the drafts I was used to scratching out in my journal, drafts never to be edited, revisited, or shared. Through these class assignments I learned about myself as a person and the classes were confidence boosters which laid the groundwork for me to launch this blog in July 2014. Blogging was something I had never even had an inkling of desire to do, but was encouraged to try because I was told it would help me as a writer (the pressure of keeping the blog current would keep writing more refined and finished pieces top of mind). I stepped out on faith, I searched YouTube for a “how to create a blog” video, and now six months later I have a collection of pieces that continues to grow. I found an outlet for my self-expression that I thoroughly enjoy. In November I even participated in NaNoWriMo writing over 50,000 words (material for my novel) in 30 days. This challenge tested my resolve and proved to me how capable I am to meet a challenge head on when I put my mind to it.

Traveling and writing were the things I loved most about 2014. These accomplishments have set the stage, in part, for what I will tackle in 2015. But there were also things I didn’t like so much about 2014. These were the places I struggled: finding meaning at my job and feeling valued there, coming to terms with yet another loss, the death of my cat Tabitha, and delving back in to the dating arena (and not quite succeeding). Although these feel like failures, these contributions to my 2014 will also help shape my 2015.

From my highlights I plan to use my newly acquired French-speaking skills while visiting France this year. I’ll also continue my blog and I will complete a revision of the “novel” I penned in November. From my “could have done without” list I plan to redouble my efforts in the dating game. Maybe this is the year I find someone who has complementary interests and who is on a similar wavelength. Maybe this is the year I break my habit of solitude.

At the beginning of 2014 I did not construct a list of things I wanted to accomplish. Many of the things I did last year were spontaneous and began with a stray thought that somehow took hold and in the span of sometimes one week, sometimes six, grew roots; I found myself planning, working toward, and acting on my little-known, new found dreams. So these hopes, I suspect, will only be a scratching of the surface of what 2015 will hold for me. The world is my oyster. I only need to pay attention, develop my thoughts, and shape them into beautiful pearls.

Photo credit: Thierry Ehrmann