Reflections

Intention Setting: Year 3

• By fannieb
• August 14, 2015
• No Comments

Today doesn’t  feel much  different from yesterday but it marks the beginning of my third year alone.   Last year on this day I experienced an epiphany,  a rebirth of sorts, after reflecting on my ability to, not only survive in spite of the loss of my parents, but to thrive.

But today this anniversary feels ordinary. I’m not feeling that same degree of unbridled excitement for what my future might hold. I am feeling positive and quite hopeful but the sheen and newness of being a capable survivor has faded. And I’m not sure how I’m feeling about this. I’m settling in to the reality of my new normal.  Although my life is still exciting and filled with new possibilities yet to be created and explored, it feels much more ordinary.

Year 1 started the day after my mother died. I was filled with sorrow, fear, doubt, and overwhelm. What was I going to do now that I no longer had a father or a mother to counsel and guide me? Year 2 started the day after the one year anniversary of my mom’s death and I, to my surprise, felt joyful,  powerful, and more alive than I could ever remember feeling. All the annual firsts without my mom had come and gone and I had managed. And many of my firsts without a living parent had been conquered too, though with varying degrees of poise. At the end of that trying year I felt accomplished and capable even though my biggest supporters were gone. I felt invincible.

Year 3 starts now and what I’m lamenting today is the missing high which I felt last year in my hopes for my future. Maybe it’s unrealistic to think I could go through life floating on air, but I don’t want to lose the pure optimism I felt in knowing my wildest dreams are possible. I don’t want to lose sight of that cathartic feeling that the one year anniversary of my mother’s death unleashed in me.

So, to that end, I am setting my intention for this third year. I will continue to pursue my newfound purpose of becoming a brilliant life coach who inspires people to find  and live their passions, transforming them spiritually.

Photo Credit: Judy Van Der Velden