Reflections

Insanity

• By fannieb
• September 23, 2015
• No Comments

I’m getting the distinct impression that God is showing me in a painful way how futile it is to try to make progress in an environment where people are limiting themselves because they are failing to notice. At work on Monday and Tuesday the oppressive nature of the constant lack of clear thinking hit me like a ton of bricks. And as I am emerging from my own a foggy thinking it is becoming intolerable to me . Today, Wednesday, I looked at my calendar and saw white space (no back-to-back meetings), and had hoped there would be relief.

But I was confronted once again by severe unconsciousness – first in the form of the assumption by another project manager that I was going to facilitate her meeting which was to occur in an hour. She never directly asked me to help her out; she simply casually assumed I would via email. Unconsciousness crept in again not thirty minutes later while I participated in a meeting meant to share the solution to a problem, a solution that turned out to be only a partial solution because the sponsor saw fit to exclude a key stakeholder. Once again I found myself working toward another less than optimal outcome -something that won’t get fixed and will continue to plague the organization endlessly.

Insanity is continuing to do the same thing but expecting different results. And that’s what my 9-to-5 life has become. For me, this is not sustainable. And so I turned to God and asked, “Are you telling me to step out on faith and build my dream business full-time right now?” While waiting for his response, thoughts of putting in my two week notice danced in my head and I smiled and thought, “I can do this”.

But I must temper this desire with patience, discipline, and thoughtful planning in spite of the discomfort I’m feeling right now, in order to ensure that my new business and new life will be successful and sustainable.

Photo Credit: René C Nielsen