Reflections

Alone but not Lonely

• By fannieb
• April 16, 2016
• No Comments

“I miss you Mommy.”

In the stillness of this bright spring afternoon, I am alone but not lonely, despite this spoken comment. I was wishing that she was still alive to see my accomplishments, to see me thriving and conquering fear, doubt, and negativity and carrying on. I want to be able to hug her again and for her to celebrate my achievements with me. I want her to feel even more proud of me than I know she was.

This is where my aloneness stems from, a regret that I had not accomplished more in her lifetime. I know it’s all a process and I would not have likely achieved all that I’m accomplishing now while she was living because much of the impetus for my growth came from the loss of both of my parents, but the regret is still there.

I’m missing Mommy but I’m not feeling lonely today. I’m too full with spirit to feel the emptiness of that emotion. I feel her presence in her, implied but not uttered, response to my longing. She speaks softly to my soul, Oh, you know that I’m right here with you and I can see all the great things you are achieving and all the people you are lifting up and helping. I’m also a witness to the big dreams you are dreaming and will be living soon. You know I’m right there with you all of the time. I love you, baby.

A wistfulness floods the atmosphere as the sun sinks lower into the western sky  and I am content. Nothing is wrong and I am grateful for all I have been given, the challenges as well as the gifts, for in the end everything is a gift.

Photo Credit: Thomas Quine