Reflections

Up the Down Staircase

• By fannieb
• October 23, 2015
• No Comments

This morning I woke up very slowly. I’d taken a Benadryl at 3 AM and set my alarm for 7. When I was awakened by the alarm I felt sluggish and perhaps a touch of dread for having to get up and go to work. And though this morning was not routine my thoughts began to rebel against the routine.

Since I woke up late, I had no qualms about not going for my morning walk. I lay in bed another five minutes and when I put my feet on the floor I sat there on the side of the bed for a moment -remembering Mommy. She had told me that she would often do this in the morning to catch her breath and prepare herself mentally for the day. Was I channeling her this morning? Were my thoughts against routine (which have served me well to this point) actually her thoughts? She always said that she “went up the down staircase”.

So where does routine fit in my life now? As I am figuring out who I am or perhaps as I’m recasting myself I’m thinking and doing things very differently. So this question is becoming a loyal companion; one that gnaws on my conscience making me uncomfortable with follow-on thoughts of If I go off the beaten path, will I achieve what I want to accomplish? And, What is it that I want to accomplish anyway?

Photo Credit: Martin Fisch