Reflections

Escape

• By fannieb
• April 30, 2015
• No Comments

I think part of my desire to move out of the country stems from my search for connection. Many of my close friends have gone away either through death or as a result of my spiritual, intellectual, and emotional growth. I am a different person from who I was before and many of the relationships that served me well in yesteryear now no longer do so. They leave me not only feeling alone, but at times also irritated and drained.

In an effort to sustain myself I’ve turned inward into myself trying to stimulate myself mentally by learning new things, by reading and writing and even by traveling on my own. And these efforts work to some degree to keep my mind active and occupied and are serving to expand my horizons, but the gap these activities cannot bridge is that of social interaction and connection.

In some ways my search for my new home is a search for where I will feel I belong, as part of a welcoming community of smart and highly evolved and evolving people. And perhaps this is a “Utopia” and does not exist, but I must search and see for myself.

In terms of well-being, which incorporates many factors including physical, emotional, and economic health, life satisfaction, and social connection, I think I’m on the healthier end of many of these determinants. But where I’m lacking, which is why am searching, is in the area of social connectedness. The idea that I’d be more successful connecting in a foreign land is an odd one that I can’t completely explain, but part of it lies in the fact that I feel bored and uninspired by my surroundings which have been virtually the same for almost 20 years. I think my belief system has changed and is now different, in many ways, from those I’ve lived among for all these years. And I feel the urge to break free and experience something new.

Perhaps this is simply a midlife crisis, but a crisis nonetheless, that I owe to myself to take seriously and to try to resolve. Well-being is important and I’m feeling a little off kilter in this respect. Exploring this is something I have to do, especially when merely talking about picking up and moving sparks excitement in me.

Photo Credit: Martin Brigden