Reflections

Hand of God?

• By fannieb
• March 18, 2015
• No Comments

Maybe there is no rhyme or reason to life, though I find that hard to believe. I see the hand of God in so much of my life. So many coincidences that lineup to make certain events happen that seem perfect in hindsight and even sometimes at the moments they happen.

Like the two-year contract position I took at the credit card company which happened to end just two weeks before my mother died affording me the luxury to take care of her, of her affairs after she passed, and to grieve without having to worry about working a 9-to-5 job. And since the contract had ended I was eligible to collect a small income from the unemployment commission.

Or, like the time my ex-husband’s car broke down a quarter of a mile from my house. He told me of his misfortune because the car he was driving had been my mother’s; she had given it to him. When it broke down he had to leave it for almost a week in the parking lot of a gym located on a road I traveled every day to work until he could get the money together to have it towed to his home forty miles away. This was the proof that I needed to become open to helping him out in his time of financial need. His request did not come until two weeks after his car had broken down, and it came on the very day I received a bonus from work. This made it easier for me to help him out without attaching any strings.

Am I forcing myself to see the grand scheme of these events when they are in fact random, despite their perfect timing and placement? I wonder, because there are other times when nothing makes sense. Like trying to understand the lessons I need to learn in my current work situation, and realizing that perhaps the lesson I need to learn is to get out of dodge and find a new job even though I promised myself I was going to hang around there for a while. Then there was the time when a married man made advances toward me in plain view of his wife. His wife was nonchalant about it and even encouraged it. I tried to figure that whole thing out for naught. I give myself a headache trying to understand these things and my incessant questions about them annoy those I ask who believe there is no order in life’s chaos. In time, these occurrences might come into focus and make sense, or perhaps they never will. During the times when I struggle to piece together the puzzle of life maybe I should stop trying to force order where there simply might not be any and just go with the flow.

Photo Credit: Liza