Reflections

Can’t Get There From Here

• By fannieb
• February 26, 2015
• No Comments

Disappointment – that’s what I felt all day today. I’m cursed with having the idea that things don’t have to be average or below. But I’m surrounded by people who, it seems, think otherwise. Again and again, over and over the sentence, “I can’t get there from here.” keeps circling in my mind like a plane in a holding pattern over a busy airport waiting for clearance to land.

Where is it exactly that I want to be? Where do I want to go? I can tell you I’ll know it when I see it, feel it. It’s a place where I’m surrounded by like-minded people. They won’t all be exactly like me – liberal, college-educated, physically active – but they will be smart and always seek to use their intelligence. And they will have a fairly high degree of self-esteem and believe in themselves and believe that life doesn’t have to be a struggle. Believe it, and work toward this type of existence.

Where I find myself now is among people who think and believe just the opposite creating my dystopia. And while I can’t read their minds I know theirs are muddled based on the things they do and say and how they react rather than plan and act. Frenetic energy is contagious and I spend my days trying to avoid it, avoid them. And when I can’t I envelop myself in in an invisible shield aimed at keeping the spew from eroding my sense of well-being.

I have dreams of being on a winning team, of enjoying the people I work with. And I think, “I can’t get there from here.” I know that this is part of my journey. And that if I’m going to get there, to my promised land, I’ve got to enter it from right here. I know this, which is why I feel so rattled today. I guess it troubles me because I can’t see a way out and maybe that’s the problem. Perhaps I’m relying too much on me and not having enough faith that God knows the way, whether I can see it or not, and will lead me there.

Photo Credit: brian donovan