Reflections

Breaking Through Fear

• By fannieb
• October 19, 2017
• No Comments

Why was I born?  To sit in a cube at work and not use my gifts, not be recognized, and feel unfulfilled?  Not at all.

Somewhere in life I got lost. Years later, I discovered what made me lose my way.  Listening to and absorbing my mom’s fears about finding a professional career that provided a nice and stable income. Seeing Mr. Rensi, my inspiration to become a business woman, earning lots of money and believing that was the life for me.  Choosing not to consider teaching as a career option, because Mommy warned me against it, and trusting that she was right.  Thinking that the money, power, and image of a career in corporate America would make me happy.

Job after job, company after company, happiness was elusive.

Now I’m on the verge of quitting a very nice paying job to move to France.  The idea of turning in my resignation, a thought that used to scare me to the point where I’d simply stay someplace that was killing slowly, now excites me.  It excites me for a couple of reasons.  First and most obviously, giving my notice will mean that things are all set for my new adventure in Perpignan.  The second and much more profound reason for my eagerness is that the thought of giving my notice while not having the next gig lined up will mean I have broken through one of my most entrenched, fear-laced beliefs: the idea that you don’t leave one job without having the next one in hand because it isn’t wise and you’ll find yourself struggling out on the street.

To some degree I still think this is sound advice for someone who is not financially stable, who doesn’t have an emergency fund to sustain them for a while.  Sound advice for someone who emanates fear because they don’t feel safe, lack security, and don’t have faith that God or the Universe will help them through.  Sound advice for someone who only superficially knows who they are and what will bring them peace, satisfaction, and contentment.

The person I describe in the paragraph above is no longer the person I am.  I can write about my eagerness to quit a job without having another one already lined up because of my personal growth and development in the aforementioned areas.  Taking this huge leap of faith will indeed break an enormous barrier.  It signals the freedom of things to come.

For now, I prepare my departure.  I line things up so that my transition is as smooth as possible.  And I dream of my life to come!

Photo Credit: Tim Cook