Reflections

Lightening Rod

• By fannieb
• August 23, 2017
• No Comments

Year five started on August 14, 2017.   That was the day after the fourth anniversary of my mother’s passing. And I awoke with the question, what role am I to play in God’s army?  What instrument will I be in His orchestra?  What tool in His workshop?

I know that He is using me.  That He is making me feel uncomfortable in this life I’ve created for myself.  He’s given me the ability to see and feel the unconsciousness that surrounds me clearly and non-judgmentally, perhaps to show me the work left to be done or perhaps to help me avoid life’s pitfalls, the collateral damage that is thrown about.

I saw it yesterday on my drive to and from Williamsburg.  Going, other drivers needed to be ahead of me.  I would pass them politely and they would appear to get agitated and pass me right back cutting me off as they returned to the lane I was in.  It was almost as if they felt something in me, in my car that made them uncomfortable to be around or behind.  Sometimes they would speed up as tried to pass them.  There was a real feeling of competition on the highway.

When I arrived in Williamsburg I got cut off aggressively two more times.  It was like I had a sign on my car that said, “Danger, don’t be behind this vehicle. Warning do not follow”.  I thought these incidents to be unusual, outward displays of people’s inward turmoil and confusion.   A sign that I needed to stay aware and alert. People seemed to be in a foggy state; many were sleepwalking like unconscious zombies living in a different reality from me.

Then on my drive back to Richmond a drive that at most should take an hour, took an hour and a half because there was not one accident but two.  Further outwardly confirming this inner turmoil people are struggling with.

Greg, my ex-boyfriend’s dad, used to call automobile accidents “so called accidents”.  He knew they were avoidable, unconsciously intentional. Perhaps he saw people’s underlying unconsciousness as the cause for collisions way back when I did not have my own vision. Today I’m left to consider what people see or sense in me.  Are they drawn to me because of a light I emit or are they put off because the light is too bright for them to handle?  Or maybe they can’t see me at all. Maybe it’s a combination of all three suppositions that will allow me to avoid the collateral drama and take advantage of the benefits other highly conscious beings have to offer.  Whatever my effect on people I must remember I am not better than anyone else.  I must not judge them or look down my nose at them.  I must continue to be a light for everyone as God works through me in whatever capacity He sees fit.

Photo Credit: Maxime Valcarce